//hwee said//
alright.. i was anticipating to be the next hall female softball captain..
and guess what..
i DIDNT get it..
i dunno if i deserved it..
but i sure thing i was one of the candidates for that post..
i guess pearl got it.. never bothered asking..
that set me thinking..and it ddoesnt help that i am having my PMS.. sheesh!!
so am i too competitive?!
not meant to be a leader?! (considering that i was aalwayss the vice captain of the various team sports in the past)
not a pple's pple? unlike pearl..who is so.. GUM with everyone??
did i think too damn highly of my freakin self?!?
what the fuck... i think hall players are being used by the jcrc to achieve their goal of being the sports hall!
thatz the childish and obnoxious hwee talking here..
but whatever!!!
i am upset!!!!
and this is MY blog..
and i can freakin say whatever I, ME, CHAM HUI wants!!!
even a supposed happy occasion such as hall's outing ard the island to makan feels dreadful now..
sigh!! i am sucha an emotional and weird being!
fuck it! whatever! i am just looking forward to sunday's canoe expedition..
coz i WILL get my tan!
____________________________________________________________________________________________
hi hwee,
well, everyone's an emotional and weird being! who isn't! they are
just weird and emotional in their own different aspects! so don't fret...
you're not abnormal girl. *lol* hmmm....everyone has their own goals and expectations
out of life, and wanting to take the leadership in a team is yours. it's
not ambitious nor proud, it's just your goal. and when you don't attain your
goal, you'll naturally be upset and fucked right. it goes the same for me.
let me tell you.... things ain't going well at work because of this ok...
same boat..serious!
for the places that i've worked at right, their system is totally different from
this place. when you enter as a supervisor, their managers teach you the ropes and all
and explain all the things and etc. but you know for this place, i'm a supervisor
but i don't get taught the ropes ok! serious! i'm really f**ked inside alright...
just ain't showing. they are like asking me, so how's ur first day...etc... but i'll
just nod... but lemmi tell you...i'm giving them a week or so, and if i don't learn anything...
i leaving! yes, some say, i get paid higher than the rest and all i do is serve, isn't
that good.... but i don't see it that way. as you know right hwee, i hate a boring job and i
hate no unity shit. and when i'm a supervisor, without any roles, i freaking hate
it man! serious, the 2 full timers, who are younger than me know more than me cos
they have been there since day 1. so they seem more superior than me...which
is infact the other way round girls. and they not teaching me anything doesn't make
things any better! the managers there are more like socialisers! the way they do their job is
so simple... they just take it ez... their motto::
"act blur live longer, act smart die faster"
so you know la huh, they are so
"take it easy" kinda guys... like so cannot
be bothered! and this really makes me sick...*sigh*
so hwee, after talking so much, i forgot the point i was supposed to emphasize...
wait..............................ok, it doesn't mean that you're proud and all just because you feel
blue when you don't get a position, which u feel that u deserved. it just shows that
you have that potential inside and all, but you see, people see things differently and look
out for different factors and maybe she has what you don't but you may have what she don't.
so don't get too upset over it ok. like isn't always fair - thats what i have to say.
we've just gotta take things the way it is alright dear, but if there's something we can do about
it, of course then! for you, you can't do anything about it, but for me, i can. just depends what
i do...*sigh* we'll see how things go....
you takecare girl=)
