to hwee::

having being ur friend for a near 8 years now, i do
know that u never did really show ur soft spot.
u never could - and i guess, u'll never let this guard
of ur's down. and yes, basicly for the reasons
that u've stated. but hwee, being around ur friends
doesn't mean u have to keep ur guard up.
and being friends, and such close friends,
we don't judge the way u feel and whatnot.
i don't know, cos personally, i've never guarded myself
against u or sonia.
and i don't think that i should, because when i'm with
u guys, what's there to pretend.
i'm not with a bunch of strangers, neither am i with a
bunch of people im not close with!
but it saddens me that there is much pretence and
unhappiness going on.
well, u noe me hwee, if i'm sad, i'll show it to my friends
and when i'm happy, i'll share the joy.
u may call me vulnerable or whatnot... but i really don't care.
cos that's the way i am. i don't tell some stranger or
unclose friend my sadness and fears..... i only tell u guys,
cos i trust that u guys won't judge and i also
do trust u guys may direct me to the "right path".
one thing after being ur friend for sooooo long,
i know that u don't show "soft emotions" well
and because u think we'll judge or make fun of it.
well, eventhough i may not have the same thinking
or mentality with u and sonia, i have never judged
u guys for what u are. there are certain things i've
confided in u, which i have my stand for and my
own perception of, but eventhough my perceptions
differ, i steer away from judging who u are.
u should know what i'm talking about here right.
it's not good and healthy to bottle things up to the neck
hwee. it'll just choke u.
and it doesn't give u the happiness u yearn for.
i've suffered much sadness, but still, i am somewhat
able to find happiness to an extent.
and things don't work out just by blaming other things.
like ur reflection on God and ur name.
it doesn't work that way. if there's unhappiness, let it out.
cry it out. shout it out. whatever it is, don't keep it
bottled within urself.
i find that God sent you down for a purpose. He's not gonna just give u
a good and easy life which u can take advantage of right.
u gotta work towards a happy life and u've gotta overcome
the obstacles that he's placed. and i'm sure after each barrier u
overcome, u'll be a happier person.
wouldn't it look boring if things always went ur way.
i believe things happen for a reason, but it's a waste of time
just sitting down and asking why. move ahead and let the
bad memories go and see how u can use it to ur advantage
to make urself stronger. i'm sure He gave u friend's for a reason.
use this gift. ur friends will always be here for u. well, i know
i will and i'm sure sonia will be too.
we're probably just waiting for u to open that half opened door.
sleep on this hwee.

.friday's thought.

it's friday again - days are passing quite fast eh.
it just feels like.... "oh.. it's friday again!"
yea... sometimes it feels like the days are passing
so quickly and i've never really did anything
good. i mean useful. like i'm wasting my days??
hmm... yea. dwelling on stuff... and repeating stuff....
doing what i shouldn't be doing.... and not doing what
i really should be doing.
i really do think it's time i pack my bags and get it
going. i shouldn't be sitting on my stuff, but instead,
get moving!
i was just talking to a certain someone about life...
in general. the way i am, the way we react to things
and all sorts. it really made me sit and think for awhile
that is..... what and who i've really been.
and it somewhat saddens me in a way.
like... this is what and who i am... and this is what i've
been doing. priorities should really change and i should
take things to another level and take a look at life
from a different angle.
well, eventhough it's a little hard to change how i
perceive it..... i'll try. im sure i will.
what my mum said's true.
i just never did listen and analyse what she said to me.
well, sometimes i wish i had someone who'd
just let me blabber all this crap out -
i just need to talk -
and i pray for their understanding -
and lastly, just allow me to give em' a hug -
cos that's what comforts me the most.

011204 - it's a brand new month!!!!!
the last of the year!

it's the starting of a brand new month!!!
and a new month, comes with new happenings
and of course a few new resolutions.
well well well...

i'm starting school on the 7th of this good month
and i pray things will go on smooth =)
gotta look ahead and stay focused and
on what i've promised myself, and this much
includes going to the gym more regularly.....
if not i'll be wasting $71++ every month!!yuppp!
i'm also looking forward to this new venture
me and cham hui has decided to put our heads in.
it's our "DECEMBER PROJECT" started 30th November 04'
and we're hoping this will turn out good! *gam bat te*LOL!

and erin's coming back this 18th!!!! YEAY!!!
we can all celebrate christmas this year! *claps claps*
yea... me and hwee are still planning on what todo for x'mas this year......
dinner again??
hmm... thinking of going for service.... but...hwee has a
few comments on that.... hahaha! well, i do hope we'll be able to
meet derelyn too! it's been EONS since we've seen her!!!
seriously! we have have have to meet up this december!!!
we can't just let this yr pass and not meet up till next year!!!
derelyn's a good close friend of me and hwee and not forgetting
jan.... spent lots of quality time together.
and i really miss her laughter, non-stop talking and rattling!!
*urgh* she's on the "MUST MEET" this december hwee!!!

well, that's quite a few stuff to look forward to this december =)
and there's a few more to add on to where all that came from.hehe..
a few rather personal resolutionsthat needs to be seen through.
===================
was watching this show on TV where they were showing the
top 10 TOILETS in Las Vegas! Very COOOOOL! haha! and the
best toilet had to be a Laberacci's toilet!
did i spell his name properly??? haha! heck!
anyway, yes.... my goodness! MAJOR grand! and people
actually have wedding's i that toilet of his! it's about 250 sq feet??
i think so... hahaha! GRAND + BIG! shessh! and there were toilet's
that talked and tells you the "contents" of ur urine!!! shessh!
like what u ate and whatnot! shessh! we don't need to hear that right!!
wahahahah!!and there's this suite.... with 3 master bedrooms....
AND 7 master bathrooms!!!!! who the heck needs 7 bathrooms!
shessh! and all of them are gorrrrgeous! and there's also another
suite kind..... some underground thingy.... very cool and they
have this pink bathroom where the bathtub glows when you
off the lights! LOL!! yeayyy! and one night there....
will cost you 10,000!!!!AAAHhHHHH!!
ok, that's for the damn damn rich! haha!well, that's their
lifestyle for u man! haha!there are actually people who
spend so much just for accomodation! shessh!

==================

well, heading down to CB again today.well well,
it's free flow today! yeay!!gonna drink the 1st dec away!
hahaha!oooops!!ooohh - i wanna get a new HP!!! urgh!!
i think my hp's lousy! haha!and my daddy bought a new
HP for my bro!!urgh!! he's the one working and i'm not and he gets
a new phone! no fair!! hahaha!some panasonic phone... and
i think his camera'sbetter than mine! brighter! urghhh!!
not sure what model it is though... hahaha!
doesn't look that bad la huh....he's like only 16 - and he has a camera phone!
aiks! i had some lousy phone at 16! hahah!
8210 i think.. haha! oh well... times have changed!
i wonder what 16 yr old's will carry next time.....
hmmm.....3G phones?? wahahahah!

i'm down with flu again..... it's really very bad! urgh!!!
i've been sneezing since i woke up!! and now it's 4+ and i've JUST stopped
sneezing.... but my nose's still itchy...haha! irritating!!!
going down to school for orientation tmr....*yawn*
all the way down to pasir panjang! it's like one stop after SAJC!
haha! now i know how terrible it was for derelyn to go to school....
it's also quite bad for hui to go to NTU from AMK.. hahahah!
oh well... it beats erin over ataustralia... think she takes
3hrs to get to school???
if memory serves me right that is.. hahah!
sounds MAJOR long!!! hahaha! and i thought i was suffering...
hahahaha! at least my classes ain't in the morning.
haha!cos i've a BIG problem waking up man!
hahaha! but i hate classes that end at 10PM! shesssh!
cos night classes always make me feel sleepy.....
like i have this radar in me... telling me that it's night...
and i usually have classes in the morning....
so what am i doing in class at night!!?? brain goes ZzZzZzzzZz.....
hahahah! yea... but i'll adapt! haha! i have to right... duh!
me and sijia were even suggesting to get a place near
the school so we needn't go home! wahaha! yea... we're MAD.. hee!!

arghhh!!!! i'm dying of flu!!!!!! irritating flu bug!!!!
*bish bish bish*what a bad day... suffering from cramps and flu!
URGH! sucky!

alrightie... i've gotta get my brains wrecking on what to wear tonight...
haha!or i'll be late to meet sonia AGAIN...
yes... it's this problem with me in being late!
haha!AH!! and yes... i gotta make --> being early <--
in my list for dec!! hahaha! oh yess!! weeeee!!
ciao!

=================
you're top in my list.
and that's final.
i know it's possible.
and i know i'll get it done.
=================

//291104//

it has been a long long long day................
*yawn*
i woke up at like 10am and slept near 5am
yesterday..... and man!! it was bad...
hahha! i had to go for 3 house warmings!!
shessh! 3!!! had like so much to eat man!
and luckily and coincidentally........
all were at pasir ris!
shessh!
pasir ris / tampines area la huh...
all the way to the east!
there was actually alot of food to eat la huh....
and i thought i ate like ALOT... but actually...
i realised i ate quiteeeee little.. hahaha!
cos i was afraid of being toooooo full,
so i ended up eating too little instead, BUT it's
good right! hahaha!

hmmm...sonia!!!! i lost 2 kg!!!
LOL!!!!
seriously! if not my weighing machine's spoilt la huh...
from 46 to 44!! *faintz*
i don't know if that's supposed to be good or bad....
but i SOOO don't feel that i've lost 2kg!
it's like the other time after saint francis!
hahaha! hmmm..... is this good... or bad? haha!
according to the trainer i'm supposed to gain mass....
and not lose weight! wahaha! do tooooo much cardio alrdy.
hahaha! ehhh... but i haven't been to the gym regularly!
DUH! what have i been doing....?? haha!
stressss! LOL!

i was actually looking, scrutinizing, checking out whatever u call
it - the interior of the houses that i went to today.
haha! hmmm..... and i was bitching about it to my mum.
hahahaha! and i was thinking in my head..."hmmm.... this will
not exist in my house next time! tooo yuckie!!"
haha! well, there was this house which didn't really have
nice colour coordination..... but nice flooring.. wahaha!
well... concept was there.... but the colours just didn't justify
the nice design. haha!
maybe cos i like the contemporary design more......
BUT.... nah... it just wasn't nice. haha!

OOOOkkkk!! i'm going off for supper now!
fooooooooooooooooooooodddd!!! *beams*