*yawnnn.....*
zouk yesterday was... ok la.
not as fun as i thought would be.
phuture wasn't as good as zouk
was feeling high though. haa!
actually. the house music rocked man!!!
haha!! loveee it!
reminded me alot of centro.
the good ol' days where i had house-kaki's!
hahaha!
but now, i know who to call when there's
house music parties already! haha!
daphh! didn't know she loved house music
also.

wnet to phuture, but the music was kinda
b o r i n g man!! shessh!!
not like the wednesday music.
or maybe when i went in.....
it was just the wrong timing...
but.... it was like 12 plus already! shessh!
how can be wrong timing?? haha!

but despite all the music dismays....
i met alot of people there yesterday!!!
the people i didn't really thought i'd see!
haha!!
i mean i don't really see so many pple when
i go down to zouk, but yesterday was diff man.
heh.
firstly in the queue, i saw 2 of geokie and jack's
friends. joanna and .... the "small girl" i forgot
her name. haa!
2ndly, i saw nicholas aka popeye. hahaha!!
we were like staring at each other and ..."ehh!!"
hahaa!! i couldn't really recognise him la...
hahaha!
talked for a while...... and he told me charles and
edwin were around.. haha!
anddd... yes yes.. later on i saw edwin! hahaha!!
the handsomest guy! hahaha!!!
i think he's a total hottie la... and these guys are
natural playboys.. haha! he's a funny guy la...
ok anywayss..... also saw vipez in phuture... hahah!
totally unexpected. yeap!
saw my ex bf in phuture. haha! sijia should have been
there la... hahaha!! later on..... saw evan yeong!!!
she's back in spore for the hols! haha!
i was like staring at this girl - with my "highness" in
me alrdy.. and thinking if i was seeing things man!
hahaha!!! was thinking to myself..."isn't evan yeong in
aus? looks like her leh"
haha! didn't dare to make a move until she shouted my
name.. haha! then.... sonia shouted her name.. and they
started shouting each others names.
hahaha!
was quite cool seeing her there. haven't met her
in eonssss man!
but she really put on weight.
not like fat fat... but she like skinny last time, just
fatter now la.
and this is what aussie does to you.... IM SCARED!!!! hahaha!
sonia told me she wants to send me to aussie --->
so i will get FAT!!! hahah!
anywayz... so that was the people i met for the night.
sad couldn't see charles. haa! see what he's doing now.
hee. nic told me he was @ members la.. so wth!
...............

oh ya!!! zouk renovations weren't that great at all
la! like..... HURR!!!??
they put 7 million into what??? sound system...
members area.... errmm..
change of layout of phuture.... walau...
renovations?? hahaha!
hardly see em' man.
now the "bouncers" have ugly kaki coloured blazers
to wear.. yuck! oh ya.. they aren't called bouncers.
they are called "PR's" hahaha!!!!
damn! my friend who works at zouk told me. haha!
WTH!

went shopping yesterday also.
bought a pair of levi's 599 and a pair of levis shorts.
hahaha! damn cool right!!!
but i think the 599..... a bit long la.
hiaks. so now i have 2 599's. haha!
tried the 593 but they didn't have the length 32 one.
the lngth 30 one was like.... just below my ankle.
VERY weird. haa!
wanted a darker colour jeans too...
but they just don't look good on me la.
i can't seem to wear something too dark.
or maybe i'm just not used to it. hee.

took more photos with my 700i. hahah!
zouk to0ilet! hee....
me & my bestie. =)
havent taken a photo with her in a
LONG time.





























alrightie.
it's gonna be a slow saturrrrday....
gotta find some lunch to munch -
B4 i get thinner....=(
then i'll lose both sonia and sijia.
*boohoo*
hahaha!!
ciao!

todays's friday!! wooohoooo!!
the weekends here! so happy =)
i love the weekend. cos it's
"different" from weekdays.
duh. haha. yeaaa....
it's only some days that i get to see
some one. heh.

anywayzzz, heading down to do abit
of shopping today. hee.
i need a new pair of jeans!! haha!
cos my 599's like...... dying. too big
for me already. haha!
so i'm going to go get a new pair of 599's.
hahaha! maybe try the 593 again.
had a pair of 593's before. but i didn't wear it
AT ALL! or maybe just once...
then ended up selling it to huihui.
shessh!
maybe i chose the wrong one? not sure
but i'll try again. cos erin looks gd in it -
but i don't. weird.
she can fit both 599 and 593 nicely i think.
urgh... whats with that 593 on me.

went wakeboarding yesterday...
oh man!!! damn happy la! ahahha!!
take all my stresses away. but my first round
sucked la. was disappointed in myself...
i got out of the wake and fell once.
urgh!! think justin also knew... he couldn't
be bothered to say much after my few
"about to go out of the wake, then come back in's"
hahaha!!!
think on my last try of my first round...
i was soooo fed up i finally went out of the wake
and glided from the right to the left outside the
wake. think it's just probably my fear la.
mental state. cos yes.... im afraid of falling.
and HWEE is sure to have experienced my
fear of falling... hahaha!!
going out of the wake takes skill for a beginner not
to fall la and the instructors know i'm afraid of the
wake that's why i can't get out sometimes. hahaha!

but it's ok. went out to ride again @ 6 and im
satisfied with my performance man!
told myself like.. what the heck man!
do it man! hahaha!
and the right to left's were great! haha!
probably when i really put my mind to it then
i'll do it better. haha!
the first time was probably still abit... STONED> haha!
the water was also COLDDDDD in the morning.
and the colour looked like teh beng la!!!!!
haha! cos it rained that night and all the
sediments got washed out. wahah!
but according to justin.....
"it's very clean actually!!!"
hmm... the colour of the water seems to prove
otherwise. hahaha!!
but it didn't taste bitter la huh...
haha!
it was just super cold when i entered.
hahaha!!!
while angel was riding, i took some pics of the sunset.
cos i saw justin had nice sunset pics on his hp.
so nice!! but mine was nothing compared to his.
sigh.
too many trees blocking. he probably took it another
side. heh.






























i like the 1st one actually. when u seem like
u're moving away from the sunset and you can also
see the wake. =) nice.....
and we took lotsa pics with phone! hahaha!
so satisfied with my fone man!
better than that crappy "nice outlook only"
motorola V3. haha! can't even take nice fotos.
was complaining to felix cos he has the same
V3 as me... and he too agrees that it's crap la.
compared to his previous O2.
but he doesn't need the O2 in shanghai...
so... haha! oh well.......





























yeap! nice eh the colours! hahaha!
i think it's about the same result as my digi.
but of course.. my digi's much better. haha!

ahhh!! can't wait for tonight!
heading down to zouk!
woohooo!! hahaha!
hope it will be fun fun fun. hee.
shopping + partying.
hee.. cool!
anyway...
better go eat lunch already...
find abit to eat.... =(
if not my friends dun wanna go out with me alrdy!!
sonia and sijia says i'm..... disappearing...
which... i just realised its true....
sijia: you're disgustingly thin!!!
hahahah!!!!
idert leh she!!
sonia: today's my last meeting with you!
booo.. hahah!! so sad...
they don't love me no more... cos i'm
getting thinner.. hahaha!!!
and dunno who said...
i've gotta find you a bf that's gonna feed you
lotsa food so u'll get fat!!! hahaha!!
i did used to have a big appetite. i loved to
eat alot.. as in eat lotsa stuff....
but now.... i dunno leh..
i wanna eat....
but i just feel full so fast! urgh!!
like @ chompchomp yest.....
i was full so fast!
urghh!!
when i was like craving for many different food!
ahah!
EH SONIA--->
chomp chomp sells this pizza thingy!!
we gotta try! i heard it's nice. hahaha!
looks nice too!!
hahaha!

okok.. ciao!

i was SO tempted to buy these two cups today.
was soooo very tempted.
but.. again i started thinking..
*boo hoooo....*
maybe i'll come back for it one day??
hmm.. hee.
i think they're LOVELY!!!
so niceee!!!
my piglet!! and the cute pooh... and
it states.." to pooh!" hee....
think the other side states "with love"
how nice. ...

















i bought felix today. wahaha!
i've named the turtle felix - cos he has it in his
car and he looks so like tt turtle.
just cos of the eyes. hee.
small beady eyes.
so now, i've got a 'felix' in my room.
it's not very big.. not very small either.. the
medium sized one. haa (the one staring right
at you in the picture below) LOL
wanted to hang it on my mirror as it has that...
"sticky" thingy, but bu she de.
the turtle's sooo cute... can't possibly leave it
hanging there right.
hahaha!
so it's on my bed with my piglety, pink pooh,
bed time pooh and the sasha's bear. hehehe.
hopefully it doesnt get kicked off cos its so small
compared to my other stuffies.
hahaha.
i lov stuffies! esp piggies!
but... i think i need a glass cupboard for it -
for display. hahaha!
cos stuffies get dirty and collect dust.
had alot of big piglets.. but i dunno where my mum
has kept them man.... sigh.
















anyway, the exam's finally over...
YEAY!!! hahaha!
but my heart still isn't at ease....
seriously....
cos im afraid of the results...
sigh.
only loved the LAW paper...
LOVE LOVE LOVE IT MAN!!!
other than that... STM and econs was... shit.
*sigh*

hey sabbie!!!! ---> this post is for you.
intending to go over to complete my tri2a
next year, need to know like how's it there.
the lectures, the groupings, the people.
hahaha! scared i gotta do those group kinda
modules there - abit hard to fit in ah.
then, what's ur accomodation like.
near school? sharing a house and etc??
haha. u know la, the usual. and how
much rent are you paying?
hey! lemmi know yeap! haha!
thanks loaddsss!!!!


me & jia ---> taken with my new S700i.

















after STM --> still can smile eh....
*sigh*
hahaha!

i just need some time apart from law. it's 530 am
and i dunno if i should sleep or continue econs revision.
urgh.
think think think.
but i have to wake up @ 645 also. so why sleep?
urgh! ... from 645 to 7 cos i decided to get someone
to send me down to school.
but.. nvm la. at least i can beat the working adults crowd.
oh man.......
i'm suffering from a headache... and my
stomach's growling..
=(

15th november.
STM paper.

today marks the end of one paper.
STM was........ i wouldn't say it was good...
but i wouldn't say it was that bad either...
but i have this feeling i may fail.
i MAY fail.
sigh........ there goes my A's.
urgh.
tomorrow's worse.
have to wake up @ 7am tmr for 2 papers....
and i don't know what time i'll sleep!!!
huh... i don't think i can sleep la..
but i'm afraid i'll fall asleep during my paper la..
hahaha.
i feel sick... and dehydrated.... and tired...
all of it man.

as i was doing my STM paper -
my watch ticked like nobody's business so
loudly can!!!
just got this swatch watch - RED! haa
my mummy gave it to me.. haa!
surprisingly quite nice...
haha! maybe cos the strap was red that's why.
hee.
AND... it ticked DAMN LOUD LA!!!
urgh!!!
swatch watches are always like that!!!
SO LOUD!!!
like counting down my 2hrs for me la!
shessh!!
so i decided to take it off - and even from the
table... i could hear it...
so i put it far away from me. hahaha!!
and my invigilator stared at me....
"what the heck is she doing? avoiding reality
that her time for her paper's running out??"
hahaha!!
she prob thought so. haa!
sigh..... i just think my paper wasn't well done.
urgh! im very disappointed in myself.... VERY!


i worse my skirt to school today...
and guess what i found out...
that I HAVE LOST WEIGHT!!!!
again!!! WTF!!!!
it was supposed to drop nicely on my hips...
but now, i could even take it off just w/o even
unbuttoning and i'd probably drop as i walk
if i didn't wear a belt la.
shessssh!!!!
ok, now i believe i have lost weight.
i never did believe anyone saying so la...
cos i thought i was just like that.
hahaha.

sigh... i'm so tired....
just very very tired...
i've gotta pia law and econs in just a few hours..
i think really no need to zzzzzzzzz.................
pray i don't fall asleep in class....
*prays*
or it'll be worse than not studying.
haa.

okok..... i'm heading back to the books of
aussie law........
=/

it's concluded that guys can never be alone.
LOL.
had this conversation with XXX and i really
have to agree to whatever was said.
it's true. guys are naturally controlled by their
d**k. sad but true. shows how shallow they CAN
be. well, maybe not all.... but most.
majority i have to say.
that's why XXX said hall life is very complicated.
just seems like very easy to access.
no parents and u have total freedom.
and you have freedom from ur partner who's
not there too! so dangerous eh... hahaha!
just a reputation that you may not be very favourable.


i've enough of STM for today... really...
i'm stressed for my paper tmr and i'm sure i'll wake
up early tmr... haa. i usually do when i'm stressed.
hee. it's getting on me alrdy.
jialat. at the last moment eh....


i'm quite fed up with my work.
urgh....you can do it mun..
haha!
i've heard so many "jia you's" for the whole
of today... hahaha!!!
ivan, felix, jason(s), my dear sonia, kia hien,
my dear jiajia, clarence and alot more.. haa!


*** i feel so tempted to fly to shanghai this december
for christmas.... hmmm...
sonia you know why...... *hee*grinz*
and spend... new year's there? wahaha!!
xmas + new year.... wow!!
urgh... i wish i wish....
it's a crazy i know, and i know it may not work out.
but...... what was said was just so... tempting.
*sigh*

i finally got my new phone!!!
hahaha!
yes... i changed from a nokia 6170, to
a motorola V3 and now to a sony ericsson
S700i!!! hahaha!
well... i'm quite satisfied with this phone...
seriously. that motorola V3 just had a nice
outlook and... that's it! haa!
at least this phone's much better.
hee. and i like my current ringtone also.
LOL.

bumped into jason sim today. haa!
so ciao.
i was msging and he was like....
"ya.. msg some more la...
msg msg msg"
and i was thinking... which idiot was that man...
hahaha!
last i saw of him was @ zouk man.
haa! supposed to go down to jason sia's shop
soon also.. haha!!
look at his new shop and bring more $$$...
ya ya ya.. heh.


luckily..... scored an A for my econs project....
*phew*
just managed to get an A.
"your choice of articles was very good. excellent
approach. however you need some improvement
on Harvard Referencing especially intext citations."

URGH!!!! probably if i had better references...
i could have gotten higher!!!!
urghhhhhhh!!!!
what's the point of saying good this and good that
when i don't think the marks are good at all!
hahaha. ya la.. A. but ..... i thought i could have
done better... humpf.
ok la..... i have to be satisfied with what God has
blessed me with... =)
i actually thought i might have even written out
of point la... hahaha!
oh well =)

back to STM... ahhh!!!!!!!
tmr's DOOM'S day for STM!!!!

i feel i don't deserve this.
i don't deserve this torment you put me through.
i hate it when people don't go for what they
believe and want,
when proclaim what they believe and want.
then just go for the path you is there for you.
the easy way out is always a better choice.
someone more suited for you.
someone whom your friends love.
why should i even bother when you don't.
why should i try when you don't.
i know i deserve happiness no matter what
mistakes i've commited before.
like what i said before in my previous post..
"i will, if you will."
if you meant what you actually said,
prove it to me.
prove to me that you aren't that changed person.
prove to me you're not that bastard i think you are.
prove to me that you can still be that person i once knew.
prove to me that you'll stop your lies.
prove to me your sincerity........
your sincerity is all i need.
CAN YOU HEAR ME!!!
your sincerity is all i need.....

and i tell you, more than one person can tell me
that i'm stupid.
and more than one person nags.
but at least i face it, and my friends know what
i want and how i feel.
by doing this, i feel MAN enough by facing it.
at least i don't hide it from the world.
friends are those that guide you and despite
it all, they will encourage you. and when you're down,
they help pick you up instead of saying...
"i told you so."

is your all on the altar?

i prayed, i asked for forgiveness,
i was seeking an answer and
for comfort.
and when i flipped the bible,
He showed me this page.
Is your all on the altar?
i have strayed for awhile and i have
drifted from Him. i haven't gone
to church for God knows... 3 weeks
or maybe 4 and i haven't prayed
to Him and my excuse was that I
was busy studying and probably enjoying
myself. He wants me to come back to Him
and seek him again.
With all my sadness He wants me to put Him
first, that's the only way I can be happy and
really make Him happy.

"...I think toward you.. thoughts of peace and not
of evil, to give you future and a hope.
Then you will call upon Me and I will listen to you.
And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search
with all your heart.
I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring
you back from captivity..."

Jeremiah 29:11-14.

mun to red:
indeed God helps those who help
themselves you say. why don't you do what
you say, unto thyself. He will show you your
sin, your deceit, your unloyalty to your friend.
and He will give you the meaning of
what love, trust and loyalty means.
He can only help you if you want Him to
and when you've helped yourself.
I pray you will see the changes within
you which u proclaim never took place.
in time, i have faith you'll see what you have
done to yourself, and your surroundings.
And as for me, i'll pray that one day, i will believe
what you and your friend has said to me.

mr jason sia has a clothing shop @ AMK.
wow............
impressive. that guy ah... works for the
society for awhile and ends up opening
his own business... really lives up
to his name.... haa!

my mind is apparently lost again.
something i thought would go alright,
just seems wrong.
again.
why again?
and i ask myself, why couldn't it go alright?
or even better, smooth.
and you tell yourself,
you gotta get this straight.
you deserve someone who can provide you happiness.
can the other half provide you with happiness?
what is happiness?
it has to come from two.
if i help you, will you help me?
if i advice, will you listen?
if i'm down, will you carry me up?
if i'm sad, will you make me smile?
if i'd ask you to smile at the camera,
will you? (LOL)
cos i know, i will.
i will help you if you allow me to,
i'll carry you when you're down or drunk.
i'll do anything to see you smile at me.
and i'll smile 24hrs at the camera with you.
that is my happiness.
i just wish you'd turn out to be my right guy.
the guy whom i thought cld be a good partner,
the guy who had his own mind on things,
the guy who said he would not be influenced.
the guy whom i thought could be more sensitive
and who said would change.
i wish you could stand up for what you want.
for what you said you know you want.
i don't see why i'm less afraid than you,
when i was the one who got hurt.
no matter how you try and cover what you say
or did,
i know that it might be another lie.
pls stop the lying and make me believe that
you really care, not by saying anything else,
but by showing that you really care.

"more than words, is all you have to do to
make it real. than you wouldn't have to say
that you love me, cos i'd already know.
what would you say, if i took those words away..
more than words to show you feel,
that your love for me is real..
....then you couldn't make things new, just by saying i love you."

i pray you'd wake up.
and i wish your image in me before,
could have lasted longer than it had.
i just wish we'd work it out to what it was b4.
before everything changed.

what.....

i ask the Lord...
was what i watched a sign?
while i cried,
the TV was on.
and there on the TV,
a girl was in dire straits of betrayal.
and her dad was consoling her.

girl:
why is the pressure on me?
she's the one that betrayed me. so
why's everyone pressuring me?

dad:
people make mistakes. she's very apologetic
and she has already said sorry.
she can't take back what she has done
and she can only be sorry for what she has
done.


so what is this supposed to mean Lord?
there and then i was just thinking.
how do you really forgive someone?
and how many chances do you really
give someone.
"second chances knock once"
can you actually forget everything?
can he actually change?
but you won't know till you give it another try
right?
God helps those who try.
i have tried to discover myself,
and i have tried to be a better person.
i've tried to be more understanding...
and yes... i wanna be a better g/f.
for his sake and for mine.
but i can't do one thing....
to close one eye.

sonia said:
if you can't learn to close one eye,
very hard ah...

mun:
then i'm going to die....
haa! that's something i find very hard to do.

the difference between the two gd friends....
she's rather not know too much... while me...
i always wanna know... too much...
and even when i know it'll make me miserable.
i'd rather you tell me the truth and i get hurt...
rather than u lie to me.. make me happy and
keep up with the pretence...
sonia's.... the less u know the better. what you know
won't kill. if only i'd listen and if only i had her mindset.
curiousity kills the cat... and i'm always being
killed. =/
but i still don't learn. till today.... i'd still rather know
every single detail.
but well, that's me...
since i wanna know.. i gotta learn how to handle
it!!

it's good to change, but always change for the better.
and when u change, think ahead and how it'll do
you good. i'm glad to see that even hwee hwee has
changed for the better. that's why she and alfie get
along better now.... good hwee!
but some people change and they don't realise it..
and i feel sad seeing the change.
cos it's added disappointment.
i pray i can draw u back to what u were,
how i once knew you...
i'd be satiated.

you'll never know who someone really is.
and you'll never know how far someone can go.
if i'd wanna say a guy is easy,
it wouldn't be fair to the good guys around.
but some just prove for themselves to be that.
and you wish that one day they'd prove your
thoughts wrong, but they end up proving you
more right then ever.
disgusting.