//i need to blabber this out!!//

i hate you for helping people sculpt
an impression of me, which totally isn't.
i don't understand how you've changed to
this state of mind - but i hate what i see.
and i hate what you've done.
you've hurt so many people, yet you turn
a blind eye to what has happened!
can't you find it in your heart to actually
feel remorseful of what you've did and
change for the better.
saying you will change means nothing
unless you really prove to people who care
u're really changing. but till today, your
words have carried nothing much empty
promises. it's sad.
i feel sad for you and i feel for those who
care alot for you.
you've made me look like the bad guy,
when in fact, you are the one that brought
all this upon yourself. i cannot condone what
you're doing and what you've done.
and what you're doing to others cannot be justified.
cause of you, they swallow their pride.
cause of you, they suffer in silence.
what did they ever do to deserve such torture?
i emphatize them and i symphatize them.
people called me silly and stupid for
giving in to you, for swallowing my pride
and for allowing you to step on me again.
but that was all i could do to prevent any
enemosity in us. but to reflect back, i shouldn't
have handled it that way.
cause i should have just given you a hard hit like
what they said. cause you need to wake up.
i hate it when so many are manipulated
by what they see cos what is really inside
is nothing but a lying, manipulative
and cold bitch who does things with the "I"
factor before everything else.
yes, you can be a nice person when u want to,
and it's been great knowing you and all,
but why did things have to turn out this way
after all the long years that i've known you.
i thought that this side of you would
only surface once in a while, but little that
i know, it's got worse and you've begun to
take advantage of the knowledge that there
are people that care for you and like you.
i wish that i could say this directly to you,
but i simply don't have the heart to say
all these mean stuff right infront of your face.
you were a friend to me and it saddens me
to face the fact that i cannot trust you as one anymore.
cos i don't even know if what's coming from
you is true or is it just another scheme to "help"
yourself in a certain way.
"A wolf in sheep's clothing" is the perfect way
i would describe you now.
=====================

i dislike using the word "hate" cause it's
utterly strong.
now you know how i feel abt this matter?

151104 -//what a mess....//

my my my has it been quite some time since i've
blogged. haha! and it's been quite some time
since i last viewed hwee's blog too!
wonder if it's stagnant still or if there are updates!
weeee! hehehe....

anyway, yesterday was Hari Raya! woooo....
well, it isn't as exciting as the previous years...
but alright la huh... it's getting very very mundane.
like when it was around 2-3 yrs back, there was much
unity and excitement. like everyone would meet all at
my grandms's plc, then from there, we'll all go in one
private bus the adults hired and go visiting together.
YUP! but like for last year and this year...
it has been quite quiet.... hmm... yup!!
maybe the excitement has died and everyone's just
like....... too "tired" to plan or do much about it.
or maybe... there's just too much unhappiness
around. like people going in and out of hospital
and such. and this wed's my grandma's going for
and operation..... sigh.

anyway, talking about unhappiness, yes....
there is really much unhappiness going on
around. and it's breaking me into pieces.
i got a shock of my life after hearing what i
heard in the car yesterday....................
like... what the heck man!!!! i seriously think
that it's seriously unfair. MAJOR UNFAIR.
like what kind of person is she!!????
urgh! it urks me just thinking about her.
she's been like that since we last knew her.....
and after so long... she still hasn't changed.
come on man..... it's time to wake up!!
and that's just one news... and on the
other side... i'm accused of being a back stabber!
YES!!! never b4 alright... never b4.....
and i'm getting this from someone i really
find unfit to use that word on me. COME ON!
like who the hell is that person to call me
a back stabber right! i was freaking
f**ked up when i saw what i saw la. and
it was obvious la huh. i'm may seem ignorant and
all, but don't take me as STUPID!
i have my resources to know stuff if i wanna know.
but it was more of hurt than anger.....
like.... ya, he'd rather believe someone he
didn't know so well. not that he knows me well,
bu still....... ya... maybe he was just taking "sides"
hahahaha! yes.... it's usually the case.
but i'm not someone whu just allows someone to
mistake me and get away with it la huh.
YUP! call it spiteful or whatever... but i hate
being scolded or whatever when i know i don't
deserve it and i'm right.
so pple.... u cannot step on my tail! wahahah!
right sonia!!! hahahah! oooopsss!
ya la... sad to say... this's one bad pt i have.
but i'm usually forgiving la..... but not forgetting.
hahah! unless it isn't worth it la huh... *grinz*

singapore idol's left with the 3 pple i guessed
will stay on. olinda, sly and taufik.
wow! i wonder who's next man!!!!!
i think it's gotta be sly....hmmmmmmm.....
i guessed daph last week..haha! and it was true...
let's see if my predictions are correct! hahaha!

well well, going down to MIS to make payment for
my 2 modules starting in dec... then going down to
the gym... YEAY! then..... heading down to the library
to check out some books for school... do some pre-preparations
la huh..... i dun wanna go there and be a "sotong" man! haha!
or maybe i shld just go with shoon hong to NUS lib...
hahahah!

well well... i'm really tired... gotta wake up @ 9 tmr
morning... dont even know if i'll be able to wake up..
hahahah! think i better set alarms for both hp's! haha!
alrightie...gdniteyyyyyy!!!!